WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is an assault or threat against you by someone you live with. This may be your husband, boyfriend; father or other family member.

Although domestic violence usually takes place in the home, it is still a crime.

An assault can be slapping, pushing, hitting and kicking. All of these actions are crimes. A threat may also be a crime.

Domestic violence is the most common form of violence and needs to be made a public issue.

You should not think that because it is your husband, your boyfriend or a member of your family that assaults you that it is not important.

In the law, this is the same as an assault by any other person. The Court may fine or imprison any person guilty of these crimes.

What is Divorce?

Divorce is the legal way of ending your marriage if you were married in a civil or church ceremony. You may either be separated or still living with your husband when you apply for a divorce.

The decision to apply for a divorce should not be made easily. A divorce should only be applied for if you are sure that this is the best thing for you to do.

Both separation and divorce can be a painful and emotionally tiring experience for both you and your children, no matter who asked for the divorce. Having to deal with new legal and money matters as well as separation at the same time is very difficult. Try to decide after giving this careful thought and getting legal advice and counselling .

Try to avoid using the children as weapons against your husband as in the long run you will do more harm than good. Although it may be difficult if your husband is violent, try to make decisions without fighting with him. If you fear him let your lawyer or advisor or the court talk with him.

Remember that if you have tried reconciliation and it has not worked, no person nor the Court can force you to return to your husband.

At the same time no person can force you to separate or divorce if you wish to reconcile with your husband.

What are Custody and Access?

One of the most difficult parts of separation or divorce is deciding which parent the children should live with most of the time. Custody and Access are terms that describe who has the right to look after children. This means who the children usually live with, how often they can visit the parent they are not living with, and who can make decisions about the children's welfare, for example which school they should go to.

How you and your husband decide about your children can do much to ease the pain children feel when getting used to a new situation. Children are often affected worse by the fights and anger that go with separation and divorce than by the actual separation and divorce itself.

Experience shows us that parents should try not to fight about who is going to have custody of the children and access to them. Try to think of what is best for them in the long term, and try to make decisions about them when you are not feeling unhappy.